| Location | Saltburn |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 3/2008 |
| Date of Death | 3/2008 |
| Visitors | 6,162 since 23/03/2008 |
| Creator |
Dexter Barnett born 22nd March 2008 at 5.22am - fell peacefully asleep on 22nd March 2008 at 6am.
Born at 22weeks and 5 days gestation - 625grams/1pound 6oz - too small to fight.
Dexter unfortunately is our 3rd angel, he has a brother Tico (born at 23 weeks 2 days- lived for 31 days) and sister Darcy (born sleeping at 19 weeks).
This pregnancy was unexpected but we were very happy as it felt like a gift from Tico, we struggled in the beginning as we were still grieving for Tico but we still wanted to be parents even though we already are in a way.
I have an incompetent cervix so we knew this pregnancy was going to be a worry but things were put in place to try and make me carry longer. I had a cervical stitch put in at 13 weeks to prevent my cervix from dilating, unfortunately the stitch couldnt be put right at the top of my cervix as it would have caused a miscarriage but at least it was in and doing its job. My cervix started to open above the stitch so I was put on complete bedrest to try and keep it from dilating anymore or coming loose. So far so good but with all the trouble we had with Tico it was coming up to the same time when things started to go wrong in the last pregnancy.
I was admitted to hospital on 20th march (Thursday night) for observation as I was losing fluid and they werent sure if it was my waters, at about 1.15am I suddenly felt my tummy go rock hard and then I felt I lost some more fluid, so I then felt like part of my waters had gone. This is when things started to go wrong as I started getting 'tightenings or 'contractions' approximately every 4 - 6 minutes, so they gave me some tablets to relax my womb and hopefully stop the contractions also they gave me a pethadine injection as they were really hurting. The contractions went for a few hours then at about 3pm in the afternoon they started again, coming every 4 minutes even though I was still having my womb relaxing tablets every 4 hours.
Then I started to bleed which was starting to be a worry as was this coming from the baby or my cervix or somewhere else? we just didnt know. After a few internals they thought it was my cervix as the stitch was being pulled with every contraction, so I was then moved to the labour ward and paul was called in at 5am as we didnt know what was going to happen. We knew our chances were going to be slim as we were only 22 weeks and 4 days but they gave in to me and let me have my steroids to possibly help the baby if it was going to come soon, after some more internals and reviewing the bleeding they were reluctant to take the stitch out as we all knew that the baby would come shortly after, we needed to try and keep this baby in there.
I had been contracting for 9 hours by now every 4 minutes and I knew by the amount of blood that I was losing that the stitch was going to end up being taken out, so after a full blood count my levels were worryingly low so they had to take the stitch out for my sake, which was hard to take as I didnt want to be put first, my baby needed to come first!
At about 2am the stitch had to be taken out due to the amount of blood I was losing, shortly after the bleeding stopped which showed it was the right desicion but when they took the stitch out they said they could still see all the membranes of the sack so my waters hadnt gone!?! I was left to rest on the delivery suite as they knew I would deliver shortly afterwards, this was a hard time as we knew we were going to have the baby soon and would the baby survive? My waters went at about 5am so they then got prepared for the labour and the neonatal team were ready to help him, I started pushing and after 7 minutes he was here at 5.22am, he was very small but he was passed straight to the neonatal doctors who tried to help him.
They managed to get him breathing with a ventilator but his heart rate was very low and they couldnt get it to increase, so he was then passed to us to go to sleep peacefully and with his mummy and daddy that loved him very much.
He stayed with us till 6am but overall he was just too small to fight, those 38 minutes were very precious as we told him how much we loved him and about his brother and sister that he would be going to meet and who would look after him.
We feel very lucky to have 3 special angels but we wonder when the pain will stop?
Rest in peace little man, we love you very much and we will miss you so much, we know that Darcy and Tico will look after you.
All our love mummy and daddy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The world may never notice if a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder if the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms or even comes to be
Touches the world in some small way for all eternity.
The little one they longed for was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted is a light that still shines on,
And though their arms are empty our hearts know what to do,
Every beating of their hearts says that they love you.
Big brother!!
Hey you!
So.... is it a ball in heaven tonight? Bubbles? Balloons? Cake??? You have a baby brother!!!
I know mummy and daddy will be thinking of you and so I wanted to drop by with love - as ever - to let you know we'll never forget any of the three of you - and to ask you to watch Ty for me - look after Mummy and Daddy - and help mummy to rest as I feel sure she won't be able to relax now shes got Ty in her arms.
I miss you - I had such plans for you lil' man.... I plan to try to come up at the weekend. If I do I have some things for you and will come to the garden to see the three of you.
Miss you x x x x x
so sorry
Dear Dexters parents.
I read your tragic story and I just had to say how sorry I am that life has been so unfair to you. To lose 3 babies, plus to have no other siblings living, especially when so many people have unwanted pregnancies with no problems must be hard for you to take. I am lucky to be a mother of 3 and so whilst I cannot begin to imagine your devastation, I just wanted to say I feel for you, and my heart truly goes out to you.
I hope one day you get to hold your healthy baby in your arms, and feel the promise of tomorrow.
Best of luck to you, if anyone 'deserves' a new baby, I think its you.
Love, C xxx
A Mother’s Day Wish From Heaven
Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.
I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
that though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.
Well little man, looks like Im the last to write something today. I wish so much that we could have seen you for the first time today and held you in our arms but it wasnt to be. We miss you so much, I wish things could have been so different. I love you so so much little man, I hope Tico and Darcy are looking after you.
With love from a very empty mummy
xxxxxx
Just wanted to send you all gentle hugs and let you know that I was thinking about you and your little angels on this sad day.
xx
A bautiful boy - missed so much
An Angel, in the book of life
Wrote down your date of birth
Then whispered, as she closed the book,
Too Beautiful for Earth x x
We think of you and your brother and sister all the time little man. Gentle hugs for mummy and daddy on the day they should've met you
Sweet Dreams Angel x x
thinking of you both. please be strong. was so sad to hear of your loss of another beautiful baby, take care and never give up. xxxx
i am so sorry
i am so sorry for your loss i have a son of my own and i shed a tear for you. i cant stop myself crying thinking of you and your partners loss i am so so so sorry xxxxx
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