| Location | Saltburn |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 3/2008 |
| Date of Death | 3/2008 |
| Visitors | 4,491 since 23/03/2008 |
| Creator |
Dexter Barnett born 22nd March 2008 at 5.22am - fell peacefully asleep on 22nd March 2008 at 6am.
Born at 22weeks and 5 days gestation - 625grams/1pound 6oz - too small to fight.
Dexter unfortunately is our 3rd angel, he has a brother Tico (born at 23 weeks 2 days- lived for 31
days) and sister Darcy (born sleeping at 19 weeks).
This pregnancy was unexpected but we were very happy as it felt like a gift from Tico, we struggled
in the beginning as we were still grieving for Tico but we still wanted to be parents even though we
already are in a way.
I have an incompetent cervix so we knew this pregnancy was going to be a worry but things were put
in place to try and make me carry longer. I had a cervical stitch put in at 13 weeks to prevent my
cervix from dilating, unfortunately the stitch couldnt be put right at the top of my cervix as it
would have caused a miscarriage but at least it was in and doing its job. My cervix started to open
above the stitch so I was put on complete bedrest to try and keep it from dilating anymore or coming
loose. So far so good but with all the trouble we had with Tico it was coming up to the same time
when things started to go wrong in the last pregnancy.
I was admitted to hospital on 20th march (Thursday night) for observation as I was losing fluid and
they werent sure if it was my waters, at about 1.15am I suddenly felt my tummy go rock hard and then
I felt I lost some more fluid, so I then felt like part of my waters had gone. This is when things
started to go wrong as I started getting 'tightenings or 'contractions' approximately
every 4 - 6 minutes, so they gave me some tablets to relax my womb and hopefully stop the
contractions also they gave me a pethadine injection as they were really hurting. The contractions
went for a few hours then at about 3pm in the afternoon they started again, coming every 4 minutes
even though I was still having my womb relaxing tablets every 4 hours.
Then I started to bleed which was starting to be a worry as was this coming from the baby or my
cervix or somewhere else? we just didnt know. After a few internals they thought it was my cervix as
the stitch was being pulled with every contraction, so I was then moved to the labour ward and paul
was called in at 5am as we didnt know what was going to happen. We knew our chances were going to be
slim as we were only 22 weeks and 4 days but they gave in to me and let me have my steroids to
possibly help the baby if it was going to come soon, after some more internals and reviewing the
bleeding they were reluctant to take the stitch out as we all knew that the baby would come shortly
after, we needed to try and keep this baby in there.
I had been contracting for 9 hours by now every 4 minutes and I knew by the amount of blood that I
was losing that the stitch was going to end up being taken out, so after a full blood count my
levels were worryingly low so they had to take the stitch out for my sake, which was hard to take as
I didnt want to be put first, my baby needed to come first!
At about 2am the stitch had to be taken out due to the amount of blood I was losing, shortly after
the bleeding stopped which showed it was the right desicion but when they took the stitch out they
said they could still see all the membranes of the sack so my waters hadnt gone!?! I was left to
rest on the delivery suite as they knew I would deliver shortly afterwards, this was a hard time as
we knew we were going to have the baby soon and would the baby survive? My waters went at about 5am
so they then got prepared for the labour and the neonatal team were ready to help him, I started
pushing and after 7 minutes he was here at 5.22am, he was very small but he was passed straight to
the neonatal doctors who tried to help him.
They managed to get him breathing with a ventilator but his heart rate was very low and they couldnt
get it to increase, so he was then passed to us to go to sleep peacefully and with his mummy and
daddy that loved him very much.
He stayed with us till 6am but overall he was just too small to fight, those 38 minutes were very
precious as we told him how much we loved him and about his brother and sister that he would be
going to meet and who would look after him.
We feel very lucky to have 3 special angels but we wonder when the pain will stop?
Rest in peace little man, we love you very much and we will miss you so much, we know that Darcy and
Tico will look after you.
All our love mummy and daddy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A Mother’s Day Wish From Heaven
Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.
I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
that though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.
Just wanted to send you all gentle hugs and let you know that I was thinking about you and your little angels on this sad day.
xx
Well little man, looks like Im the last to write something today. I wish so much that we could have seen you for the first time today and held you in our arms but it wasnt to be. We miss you so much, I wish things could have been so different. I love you so so much little man, I hope Tico and Darcy are looking after you.
With love from a very empty mummy
xxxxxx
A bautiful boy - missed so much
An Angel, in the book of life
Wrote down your date of birth
Then whispered, as she closed the book,
Too Beautiful for Earth x x
We think of you and your brother and sister all the time little man. Gentle hugs for mummy and daddy on the day they should've met you
Sweet Dreams Angel x x
thinking of you both. please be strong. was so sad to hear of your loss of another beautiful baby, take care and never give up. xxxx
i am so sorry
i am so sorry for your loss i have a son of my own and i shed a tear for you. i cant stop myself crying thinking of you and your partners loss i am so so so sorry xxxxx
be strong
I have just read your page and really wanted to tell you to hang on in there. My husband and I tried for six years for a baby, we lost 5 and had to have one aborted as it wasn't viable. Just when we had given up, I found out I was pregnant again. We didn't expect it to last but we now have a lovely 2 year old boy who means everything to us and has eased the pain of the past. You are very brave and one day you will have your gift from the angels. Take care. x
so sorry
iv just read your story and my heart bleeds for you and like most people say you will have a baby some day to have and to watch growing up i lost my son at 22 plus weeks my waters broke and i had a list of about 20 diffrent problems my son was born sleeping 13 years ago but im still so upset now and feel your pain i had a daughter 10 months after my son who is 12 years next month and a pain in the bum ha ha i pray and hope you have a happy ending soon love and hope to you always xx jackie
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