Dexter Barnett

Dexter Barnett born 22nd March 2008 at 5.22am - fell peacefully asleep on 22nd March 2008 at 6am.

Born at 22weeks and 5 days gestation - 625grams/1pound 6oz - too small to fight.

Dexter unfortunately is our 3rd angel, he has a brother Tico (born at 23 weeks 2 days- lived for 31 days) and sister Darcy (born sleeping at 19 weeks).

This pregnancy was unexpected but we were very happy as it felt like a gift from Tico, we struggled in the beginning as we were still grieving for Tico but we still wanted to be parents even though we already are in a way.
I have an incompetent cervix so we knew this pregnancy was going to be a worry but things were put in place to try and make me carry longer. I had a cervical stitch put in at 13 weeks to prevent my cervix from dilating, unfortunately the stitch couldnt be put right at the top of my cervix as it would have caused a miscarriage but at least it was in and doing its job. My cervix started to open above the stitch so I was put on complete bedrest to try and keep it from dilating anymore or coming loose. So far so good but with all the trouble we had with Tico it was coming up to the same time when things started to go wrong in the last pregnancy.

I was admitted to hospital on 20th march (Thursday night) for observation as I was losing fluid and they werent sure if it was my waters, at about 1.15am I suddenly felt my tummy go rock hard and then I felt I lost some more fluid, so I then felt like part of my waters had gone. This is when things started to go wrong as I started getting 'tightenings or 'contractions' approximately every 4 - 6 minutes, so they gave me some tablets to relax my womb and hopefully stop the contractions also they gave me a pethadine injection as they were really hurting. The contractions went for a few hours then at about 3pm in the afternoon they started again, coming every 4 minutes even though I was still having my womb relaxing tablets every 4 hours.
Then I started to bleed which was starting to be a worry as was this coming from the baby or my cervix or somewhere else? we just didnt know. After a few internals they thought it was my cervix as the stitch was being pulled with every contraction, so I was then moved to the labour ward and paul was called in at 5am as we didnt know what was going to happen. We knew our chances were going to be slim as we were only 22 weeks and 4 days but they gave in to me and let me have my steroids to possibly help the baby if it was going to come soon, after some more internals and reviewing the bleeding they were reluctant to take the stitch out as we all knew that the baby would come shortly after, we needed to try and keep this baby in there.
I had been contracting for 9 hours by now every 4 minutes and I knew by the amount of blood that I was losing that the stitch was going to end up being taken out, so after a full blood count my levels were worryingly low so they had to take the stitch out for my sake, which was hard to take as I didnt want to be put first, my baby needed to come first!
At about 2am the stitch had to be taken out due to the amount of blood I was losing, shortly after the bleeding stopped which showed it was the right desicion but when they took the stitch out they said they could still see all the membranes of the sack so my waters hadnt gone!?! I was left to rest on the delivery suite as they knew I would deliver shortly afterwards, this was a hard time as we knew we were going to have the baby soon and would the baby survive? My waters went at about 5am so they then got prepared for the labour and the neonatal team were ready to help him, I started pushing and after 7 minutes he was here at 5.22am, he was very small but he was passed straight to the neonatal doctors who tried to help him.
They managed to get him breathing with a ventilator but his heart rate was very low and they couldnt get it to increase, so he was then passed to us to go to sleep peacefully and with his mummy and daddy that loved him very much.
He stayed with us till 6am but overall he was just too small to fight, those 38 minutes were very precious as we told him how much we loved him and about his brother and sister that he would be going to meet and who would look after him.

We feel very lucky to have 3 special angels but we wonder when the pain will stop?

Rest in peace little man, we love you very much and we will miss you so much, we know that Darcy and Tico will look after you.

All our love mummy and daddy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx